Erectile Dysfunction — Is it All in Your Head?

It’s a guy thing. The desire to be tough, to be in control and on top of everything in our lives is just as much a part of our design as it is our upbringing. And there’s nothing, I repeat, nothing more damaging to our feelings of manliness than failing in the bedroom.

From the instant we’re aware of the outside world we’re bombarded with sex and images of what being a man is all about.

It’s everywhere.

In TV shows, advertisements, music, movies, magazines we see macho guys who can go all night. It’s a lot of pressure. And it’s no wonder why 20 to 30 million men of all ages suffer from Erectile Dysfunction (ED) at some point in their lives.

There are plenty of physical problems that can lead to ED, but you might not know that what’s going on in the head between your shoulders can play havoc with the one between your legs.

It’s estimated that 10% to 20% of all ED cases are caused by psychological factors. Childhood events like trauma, physical or sexual abuse are prime causes for ED, but more common psychological problems are:

• Stress: Most guys are under a lot of pressure to perform, not only in the bedroom, but at work, with family and in relationships. We’re supposed to be supermen. When things aren’t going the way we think they should, we get stressed, which taps our energy and our ability to become and stay aroused.
• Anxiety: Like we said, most men experience ED at some point in their lives, and if it’s a first time, it can keep your manhood down and out as you constantly worry if it will happen again. The problem is that the more you worry about performance the more likely you’ll suffer from repeat episodes. And downward the spiral goes.
• Depression: Most people think that depression only affects mood, but it’s also capable of affecting us physically as well. Depression can be episodic or chronic and can cause feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem. These feelings can lead to physical problems like: lethargy, headaches and especially ED.

While it’s impossible to live a life totally free from stress and worries, there are things you can do to reduce the affects that these inevitabilities will have on your sex life.

• Relax – Your mind is like a machine and when that machine focuses on one thing for too long, it can break down. When crap is piling up and you’re at the end of your rope, take a break. Go fishing, hang out with the guys, get up a game of basketball or focus on your favorite hobby. Then your brain will be able to see things more clearly once you get back to the grind.
• Exercise – Getting your heart pumping and working up a good sweat is the number one way to get rid of stress. More importantly, being fit helps your body and mind resist the effects that stress brings on.
• Be Realistic – You’re not a comic book hero so don’t expect to be one. Most guys think they have to be super men, which is unrealistic. There are simply things in life that are beyond your control so accept what they are and quit stressing over them.
• Talk it Out – There’s nothing (except your ego) that says that real men shouldn’t talk about what’s bothering them. And while it might be embarrassing to discuss ED with a close friend or even your partner, chances are it’s nothing they haven’t experienced before. Discussing this with your lover can not only help you get your boy back in shape, but can also foster a closer bond between you and her, which can lead to more satisfying sex.

And lastly, don’t use drugs or alcohol to relax. Sure, they do make you feel mellow, but repeated use can lead to physical anomalies that cause ED